Monday, December 11, 2006

Weird and creepy

So on the Chris front, we compromised. What can I say he is a tribble. Then it turns out the people we were going to invite over couldn't make it. Go figure.

But today's post is about something else. Something I haven't really felt comfortable writing about until I saw this week's post on Raising Violet at There are times I feel somewhat uncomfortable with how much I love Freesia.

Let me rephrase. There are times when I feel uncomfortably in love with Freesia, like romatically. I'll be holding her, and she'll kiss me and give me a hug. I'll return it in kind and snuggle her close, and realize that I'm breathing in her smell and it's making my heart beat a little harder. Then I feel kind of icky as I realize that it's the same thing I do when I hug Chris.

Violet's mom (can't remember her name) goes on to say she had heard about how the mother/child relationship can feel romantic before she gave birth but she never understood it. I had heard the some of the same, but never realized what it would mean.

So there are times that I really do feel slightly out of whack when I'm playing with Freesia and I do something that sparks those emotions. I would never harm her that way, but it's like the potential is there. Or rather, if I were a different person who had that tendency, I might be tempted. It does change how I feel about other's playing with Freesia. I'm always watching for something inappropriate. I can see why there was that push during the middle of the twentieth century for mother's not to hold their children.

Completely stupid, since children need to be held and played with, but I can see why men felt uncomfortable about it.

But that's an entirely different post. Thanks for listening.

No comments: